Ron SmithPublished on Leave Them Laughing!
Back when I was hiring new employees, I would always add a couple of extra desired skills to the job description: 1) the ability to deal with ambiguity; and 2) a sense of humor. Most of my reasoning was based on observations of employees who seemed to work well in the team environment. Another contribution to my early management skills came from a retired Navy commander that I was fortunate to have working with me. He had three sage pieces of advice:1) ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen and can you deal with that; 2) don’t ever back somebody in a corner without leaving them a way out; and 3) if you can, leave them laughing! I personally found that asking the question about the what’s the worst that can happen actually resulted in finding manageable solution(s) in most predicaments that I found myself in. It is a great tool that I still use today.
Little did I know at the time that I was learning about stressors in life and how to successfully deal with them. It turns out that these were great life lessons that helped to shape my current style of living and coping with the trials of life. For successful aging, we definitely need to be able to deal with uncertainty. We can plan for some of the more predictable issues of living and be prepared to ask ourselves the question of can we deal with the problem if necessary. It’s a great question because it provides focus and allows us to think more clearly. It helps reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed. Once the problem has been defined, it allows us to call upon friends, family or our spiritual beliefs to work through the problem. In addition, developing personal skills helps us to build some confidence and comfort in our ability to deal with uncertainty when it occurs in the future.
The American Psychological Association says that “research shows that people react differently to uncertainty, and that those with a higher intolerance for uncertainty may be less resilient and more prone to low mood, negative or down feelings, and anxiety. ”Suggestions to help better face life’s uncertainties include:
- Be kind to yourself – your tolerance for uncertainty may take some time to grow.
- Reflect on past successes – give yourself credit for prior successes and build on that.
- Develop new skills – when life is kind of calm, try things outside your normal comfort zone.
- Limit exposure to news – try to limit your number of check-ins and compulsively following the news.
- Avoid dwelling on things you can’t control – try not to labor on negatives situation where you have no ability to change the situation. Instead, consider what you can control and focus on that.
- Take your own advice – ask yourself what advice you would give a friend if they came to you with this situation.
- Engage in self-care – don’t let stress derail you from your normal healthy routines. Use a stress release tool, such as yoga or meditation to reduce your stress level.
- Seek support from those you trust – don’t isolate yourself. Reach out to family or friends for help.
- Ask for help – if you are having trouble with stress, reach out for help from a professional.
The advice to try to leave them laughing is no joke! Laughter not only is a great form of stress relief, but it is proving to provide many other health benefits. Mayo Clinic says that laughter can improve your immune system, relieve pain, increase personal satisfaction and improve your mood. It can also induce physical changes, such as stimulating organs by enhancing your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulating circulation and muscle relaxation, and relaxing your heart rate and blood pressure. An Indiana State University research study concluded that laughter can boost the immune system by up to 40 percent.
No sense of humor? Don’t worry. Humor can be learned. For example,
- You can search out materials that put a smile on your face, such as greeting cards or photos, comic strips or cartoons that you can hang up in your office or tape onto your computer. Use a funny screen saver on your computer. These are reminders to help you lighten up.
- Look for humorous reading material, watch funny TV shows or download comedic movies to watch.
- Hang out with friends who make you laugh. Seek out people who like to laugh and make others laugh.
- Just start smiling more and notice the effects on others. You might be surprised!
- You can even try to share some of those jokes or stories that you recently learned with other friends.
- Try to laugh about your own situations or predicaments. There’s often a lot of humor in some of the things we do every day if we give ourselves a chance to step back and be observers to what we did or experienced. Share your embarrassing moments. It’s the best way to take yourself less seriously.
- Find your inner child. Learn to play again!
- Ask people what was the funniest thing that happened to them recently.
- Count your blessings - actually make a list and watch how the positives in your life can help unblock the humor.
- Try to not go a day without laughter. If you have to, set aside 10-15 minutes a day to seek out something that amuses you.
- If all that doesn’t work, I discovered that there is a thing called laughter yoga. Think about that for a minute!
Remember, when you can, to “always leave yourself and them laughing!”
Ron Smith is an aging-in-place advocate, a Certified Aging-in-Place Specialist (CAPS) and a Certified Living in Place Professional (CLIPP™)
This article appeared under a different title in the November 2021 issue of InMaricopa Magazine.
